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Hey guys.I'm still here.
Just kinda going through a rough patch.
I'm okay right now but it's hard to keep up with all the websites and life and everything.
I guess I keep putting off updating you guys.
I'm not sure why, but I do.
I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm okay and still here, just absent.
I don't know what to fucking do anymore.I seriously don't know what to do.
Right now my life consists of:
me having major breakdowns
me panicing about my psychiatrist appointment tomorrow
me feeling or wanting to feel numb
important people in my life wanting to die
I'm trying to get over this, I really really am. I'm just so worried about everything. My friends, my family. I'm worried I'm depressed, I'm worried that I'll need meds. I'm worried I'm suicidal, I'm extremely worried about the people in my life who are suicidal. I'm so worried. I just want to stop worrying about everything. I just want to stop.
I love you all.I swear I'm the only teenager I know with unmarked, clean & scarless wrists.
And that absolutely kills me.
I'M SO HOMESICK FOR THIS WEBSITE. AND EVERY MOTHERTRUCKER ON HERE.
I just wrote a journal and now I'm writing another one but I was looking at my past journal entries and I realized why I love this website. When I need support you guys are there, which is lovely. I love the community on here! I love having people who I know will be there. I'm really sorry I disappeared. Please still love me! Do I still have friends on here?!
Anywaffle. The point of this journal entry was to update you guys on things that happened in my life since I've been gone.
1. Concert. I told you guys about it happening but never went into detail. I loved it. But then again I love concerts. They put me at ease and make me feel calm. Which sounds weird.
2.I turned 18... Yeah let's skip that one...
3. I'm going to the doctor's because my anxiety is getting worse. I'm terrified of doctors.
4. My insomnia is getting worse (she writes at 8am , having not slept yet)
5. I've had countless break downs.
6. I've become
I didn't die!!!So, I'm still alive.
I didn't die.
I feel so bad for neglecting you all.
Sorry I'm never on here anymore...
I'm sure I'll start coming back regularly soon.
I'm just on one of my kicks where I stop using dA for a while.
I have Tumblr & Twitter if you want to keep up with me...
Not that any of you will...
Anyways you can follow me on Tumblr. missmusicmartina.tumblr.com
And on Twitta Martina_Chaos...
I miss my friends on here!
Come be my tumblr friends!
I don't have many!
I'm constantly on there!
I'm also constantly on Polyvore so if you have an account come chat with me!!!
THIS IS THE CUTEST EFFING PENCILasdfghjkl;
I am so pumped!
I'm gonna go see Faber Drive & Fighting for Ithaca
and Victoria Duffield and Kreesha Turner and Courage My Love.
But I'm most pumped for FFI & Faber Drive!
What does everybody want for Christmas?!
If you don't celebrate Christmas, what are you doing for the holidays?!
SO MANY HAPPYS!
I'm jamming to Christmas songs!
MERRY CHRISTMAS KISS MY ASSSS!
Only 19 days till my concert!
Then 23 days till XMas!
MERRY CHRISTMAS, I COULD CARE LESS.
Have a happy holiday season, if I'm not back before then!
Wisdom Teeth :/I got all four of my wisdom teeth out today.
I was disappointed because after all the hilarious videos I've seen of the way people act when they get their wisdom teeth out.
For the first hour or so I was giggley and smilely and wouldn't stop talking but I felt pretty much sober just a bit woozy, wobbly and hyper, oddly enough...
Anywhoodle I just wanted to let you all know I survived!!!
I'm anxious to see how swollen I get and if I get bruising.
Overall, totally not worth me freaking out!
Although I really miss food! I'm on a soup, noodles, jello and pudding diet as of now. :/
Not exactly gourmet but can't complain.
Birthday giveaway - 1000 POINTSAs some of you might know I have a birthday coming up.
September 20th this year I'm turning 27
Because of that, I'm organizing a giveaway.
The prize is 1000
What you need to know
Leave a nice comment under this journal in order to participate. Wish me a happy birthday. Tag some friends... whatever.
Watching me isn't mandatory. Watchers do make twice as much chance (consider this a bonus for being a loyal fan -- hehehe)
Watchers are chosen by a randomize script
The winner will be announced Monday september 22nd (because I'm away during the weekend)
Point Giveaway (open)Haven't held a single giveaway yet this year… so, let's hold one now! Here it goes:
- 6 winners in total -
◊ 1st place:
100 points (one winner)
◊ 2nd place:
50 points (two winners)
◊ 3rd place:
25 points (three winners)
Although appreciated, it is NOT required to watch me, give a llama, advertise, etc.
Reasons for rules can be read here
WINNER WILL BE CHOSEN THROUGH
RANDOMIZER NEXT SUNDAY (SEP. 28)
Unrelated, but if you want to help me, please answer (some of) following questions: Which social sites/platforms do you frequent? Do these sites have easy & user-friendly access to archives? Could any of these work as a free online encyclopedia? What are your favourite online encyclopedias/wikis and why? For an online wiki, is it better to have its own site or part of an already
Watchers Raffle #2 - Win a Free Thigh-upHello lovelies,
Please read the journal carefully.
This is my second watchers raffle. First one's winner was OhSquishy and here's her prize:
This time, the winner will get a thigh-up similar to these:
You have to be a watcher of mine before this journal was posted. If you want to participate in future watchers raffles, you can watch me now.
You need to fav this journal to get a number.
You need to comment on this journal with references of 3 characters max that you want me to draw.
You can edit
Kiwi's Big Fall Giveaway + Kiriban!Hey everybody, it's fall, school's back and a chill is in the air. Weeks like this it seems like the fun of summer are gone for good, so here's a giveaway to cheer you up!
Back by popular demand, it's my turn to give back.
Thanks to everyone who already made the previous giveaway such a success!
New Kiriban OPEN
The number to reach is is 371,117.
For the first time, i'm having two kiribans in a week to double your chances of winning.
In case you don't know, a kiriban is when you watch a person's page count, then if you happen to see the special number, take a screenshot of it to win a prize! You must include the clock in your screenshot to qualify.
As for the point giveaway, There are a few important changes and NEW PRIZES.
I'm giving away 100 points to one lucky winner and 50 points to THREE lucky winners on 9/24.
Two other people will win a 1 month feature on my page.
If you're really lucky, one pe
[Contest!] Nekoi Group IconContest: Make a new Icon for the Group Nekoi Island!
Icon size must be 100 x 50 pixels
Pixel is preferred rather than tooled/anti-aliasing
Animation is allowed and encouraged!
Icon must contain the name of the group "Nekoi Island" Somewhere
Entries must be posted to your gallery (not sta.sh)
Entries must be posted to the entry folder: http://nekoi-island.deviantart.com/gallery/51183376/Devious-Folder
You can enter as many times as you wish
The Illuminated World ContestStock & Resources
Imagine a world where the soft glow of the magnolia blossoms illuminates the sidewalk. The reaching branches of the tree cast their light over the street, reflected in the gathering puddles of a spring rain. A garden nearby is a riot of colors against the deep shadows of the night. The harsh artificial street lights that we know today are gone. What would your world look like? Is it a world where the need for fossil fuel has been eliminated, or have the scientists bio-engineered the earth into a beautiful apocalypse?
The idea of bio-luminescent plant illumination is a real project in progress by three scientists in San Francisco, California. These scientists are engineering marine bio-luminous bacterial DNA into plants to make them glow. You can read more about their project here: Glowing Plants: Street Lig
300 Point Giveaway! (by me!)Okay this is the first time making a point giveaway..
if it turns out great I'd be sure to hold another one again sometime!
there will be 6 winners!
each will get 50 !
How to join:
1. Watch me and CHEVR0LET-CAMAR0 (she's my sis)
2. Fav this journal!
and... you're done!
(if you're aleady watching both of us just fav this journal!)
EDIT: the winners will be chosen with Random.org
Please don't unwatch us if you're a winner
you can unwatch us if you lose, we don't care!
deadline: September 30th 2014
DYNAMIC AND ACTIVE POSING FOR STOCKStock & Resources
Broadly defined, Action Stock is any photo-reference in which the subject is doing SOMETHING. That 'something' does not need to be extreme or particularly kinetic, it just has to show the effects of various forces on the bodies (or other objects) in the image. Perusing an artifact, sitting on someone's knee, even enjoying the aroma of a cup of coffee are great examples of actions that, when explored as stock images, can be of great value to artists.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with extreme, kinetic, over-the-top actions, either...
~ ~ ~
It's worth stating the obvious: if you are interested in exploring the more "kinetic" end of the action spectrum, know your limits. Don't work beyond your skill level and observe all necessary safety precautions; no shot is worth getting hurt over.
BODIES IN MOTION
Would you like a pixel chibi from me? [RAFFLE]Yes? Then... It's a RAFFLE TIME!
Let's celebrate the fact that I've got 799 watchers or something,
I don't know, I just want to draw something for some random person sooo...
If you want to participate, all you have to do is:
To be my watcher (if you're going to unwatch me after the raffle... don't do it, don't make me sad :C)Fav+ this journal (so you can get the number)[Additional - you can do it, but you don't have to ] Make a journal or poll about my raffle, spread the word
If there's more than 50 persons participating, I will choose 2 winners! (+100 = 3 winners etc.)
The prize is an animated pixel chibi from me
More here: http://theavies.deviantart.com/gallery/36440531/Pixel-art
I will choose the winner w
The Reckless and The Brave<3:iconeeeeeplz:
Long live the reckless and the brave
I don't think I wanna be saved
My song has not been sung
So long live us
Looking out at a town called Suburbia
Everybody's just fighting to fit in
Little rats running mazes, having babies
It's a vicious little world that we live in
Looking back at life on the other side
I realize that I didn't fit in
Didn't hate it
But I didn't quite relate it
To my precious little world
So long live the reckless and the brave
I don't think I want to be saved
My song has not been sung
And long live the fast times
So come what may
I don't think I'll ever be saved
Our song has not been sung
Long live us
Breaking out of a town called Suburbia
I remember everyone always saying
"Little brat must be crazy
Never make it in our vicious little world"
Still I'm leaving
Got a van, got a chance, got my dignity
Got a dream, got a spark, got somewhere to be
I'll take a breath, say goodbye
To their precious little world
(Say goodbye to me!)
So long live the reckless
IronmanHear me read it
My friends used to call William "Ironman" because the first time we kissed he got a nosebleed and the taste of his blood haunted me for a long time after it. We'd only been twelve years old and apparently the anxiety spiked his blood pressure to the point of combustion... I remember that when we were forced to take sex ed a few years later we were divided into separate classes for boys and girls, in case a diagram of an ovary was too risqué and we became animalistic and started clawing at each other in our seats, but nonetheless when our teacher Ms Jacobs had explained to us what an erection was in my mind all I could picture was the blood rushing to his nose and then the slash of cranberry across my blouse.
With the idea planted in his mind it didn't take long for William's hands to start wandering, but the image persisted. Every time I thought about just letting it happen I wondered what would happen if he got too excite
Keep in Touch!
scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More