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Hey guys.I'm still here.
Just kinda going through a rough patch.
I'm okay right now but it's hard to keep up with all the websites and life and everything.
I guess I keep putting off updating you guys.
I'm not sure why, but I do.
I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm okay and still here, just absent.
I don't know what to fucking do anymore.I seriously don't know what to do.
Right now my life consists of:
me having major breakdowns
me panicing about my psychiatrist appointment tomorrow
me feeling or wanting to feel numb
important people in my life wanting to die
I'm trying to get over this, I really really am. I'm just so worried about everything. My friends, my family. I'm worried I'm depressed, I'm worried that I'll need meds. I'm worried I'm suicidal, I'm extremely worried about the people in my life who are suicidal. I'm so worried. I just want to stop worrying about everything. I just want to stop.
I love you all.I swear I'm the only teenager I know with unmarked, clean & scarless wrists.
And that absolutely kills me.
I'M SO HOMESICK FOR THIS WEBSITE. AND EVERY MOTHERTRUCKER ON HERE.
I just wrote a journal and now I'm writing another one but I was looking at my past journal entries and I realized why I love this website. When I need support you guys are there, which is lovely. I love the community on here! I love having people who I know will be there. I'm really sorry I disappeared. Please still love me! Do I still have friends on here?!
Anywaffle. The point of this journal entry was to update you guys on things that happened in my life since I've been gone.
1. Concert. I told you guys about it happening but never went into detail. I loved it. But then again I love concerts. They put me at ease and make me feel calm. Which sounds weird.
2.I turned 18... Yeah let's skip that one...
3. I'm going to the doctor's because my anxiety is getting worse. I'm terrified of doctors.
4. My insomnia is getting worse (she writes at 8am , having not slept yet)
5. I've had countless break downs.
6. I've become
I didn't die!!!So, I'm still alive.
I didn't die.
I feel so bad for neglecting you all.
Sorry I'm never on here anymore...
I'm sure I'll start coming back regularly soon.
I'm just on one of my kicks where I stop using dA for a while.
I have Tumblr & Twitter if you want to keep up with me...
Not that any of you will...
Anyways you can follow me on Tumblr. missmusicmartina.tumblr.com
And on Twitta Martina_Chaos...
I miss my friends on here!
Come be my tumblr friends!
I don't have many!
I'm constantly on there!
I'm also constantly on Polyvore so if you have an account come chat with me!!!
THIS IS THE CUTEST EFFING PENCILasdfghjkl;
I am so pumped!
I'm gonna go see Faber Drive & Fighting for Ithaca
and Victoria Duffield and Kreesha Turner and Courage My Love.
But I'm most pumped for FFI & Faber Drive!
What does everybody want for Christmas?!
If you don't celebrate Christmas, what are you doing for the holidays?!
SO MANY HAPPYS!
I'm jamming to Christmas songs!
MERRY CHRISTMAS KISS MY ASSSS!
Only 19 days till my concert!
Then 23 days till XMas!
MERRY CHRISTMAS, I COULD CARE LESS.
Have a happy holiday season, if I'm not back before then!
Wisdom Teeth :/I got all four of my wisdom teeth out today.
I was disappointed because after all the hilarious videos I've seen of the way people act when they get their wisdom teeth out.
For the first hour or so I was giggley and smilely and wouldn't stop talking but I felt pretty much sober just a bit woozy, wobbly and hyper, oddly enough...
Anywhoodle I just wanted to let you all know I survived!!!
I'm anxious to see how swollen I get and if I get bruising.
Overall, totally not worth me freaking out!
Although I really miss food! I'm on a soup, noodles, jello and pudding diet as of now. :/
Not exactly gourmet but can't complain.
How to get better at artPeople keep asking me what programs i use, and what program is the best for drawing and what brushes i used for this artwork or that. Those are legitimate questions, sure, but not entirely accurate. There are differences between programs and brushes, but in the end, they are all tools. They are tools artists use to put their imagination onto a canvas. Just like a traditional artist can use 10 different brushes to paint an artwork, or just one single brush, digital art is the same in that regard. There is no one brush that can achieve an effect that none other can. Sure it's a little more difficult if you're using one brush type to draw everything, but not impossible. Artists might have hundreds of brushes in Photoshop but in truth, we use 2-5 brushes the most and those hundreds only in special cases. I personally use a hard brush and a soft brush for 90% of things, what i do change is the opacity and turn the pressure on and off, change the size etc.
And the most common
PureThe thing about getting known is that people say funny things to you. Most of it is bullshit. Some of it is true, and some of it is downward inconsiderate. Some of it does make me think, though.
One of those things said to me, a while ago, was that I wasn't so much of an artist.
That, despite the fact that I was decently known on the internet nowadays, I didn't make actual great art.
(The actual comment phrased it somewhere along the lines of "famous as hell, but still draws like a college art student")
And you know what I thought? This guy actually did have a solid point. The way he worded it down was just... not so clever.
Throughout my life I've seen people with great skills in everything. I've learned soon enough that people typically see themselves as either a left-brain or a right-brain thinker, meaning so much that their either go with logic or intuition, and are often either good with numbers or social skills/art (that come with that). While many of these tests whe
500 Point Giveaway #16: JulyHow to participate:
1. Add this journal to your favs
2. Write a new journal about this giveaway, and include a Mention of me so that I receive a notification of your journal.
3. Include what I do at dATrade. For example:
:icondatrade: is holding a 500 point giveaway! http://fav.me/d7qygpl
At :devdatrade:, you can donate points for an easy way to receive watches, llamas, favs, comments, and critiques!
10 points = 5 critiques / 10 comments / 10 watches / 40 llamas / 50 favs
Go check it out today!
There will be a total of 15 winners who will be selected with a random number generator!
One 200 point winner
Four 50 point winners
Ten 10 point winners
:iconflyingheartsplz: :icondatrade: Alice
200 points giveaway!
Hello, I'm holding a 200 point giveaway for anyone and everyone that wants to participate. It is 100% free for anyone to join in and get the chance to win 200 points!
All you have to do to enter is favorite this journal
After you do that you are in the giveaway
You don't have to comment on this journal, watch me, or favorite any of my works to be in the giveaway (unless you want to do it, if you do I really appreciate it and thank you!)
I will be using random.org to pick the winner
Good luck to everyone and most of all have fun
My Facebook page please check it out and give it a like, I'd really appreciate it
Edit: People are asking about the end date,
Troll pollution?What's up with all the troll accounts of really bad taste lately?
I wish dA would simply ban these people, when they are polluting this site on purpose and act like total jerks screaming for attention? (I mean, it's not even funny at all.) There are these people I have to keep reporting, since they upload commissioned works and my clients are really unhappy about it. Once it gets taken down, I have to report it AGAIN AND AGAIN since it get reposted again!? I have MUCH better things to do than deal with kids like this.
And they accuse the real artists to steal from them when the trust is so obvious? What kind of trolling is that, are they even trying?
And the death threat jokes...
This have gone way too far beyond stupidity x__x
I'm not sure if people realise they can get in LEGIT trouble for doing things like this? (but they are probably too young and ignorant to care) are they really that desperate and have nothing better and productive to do? That's really... sad.
Now it's just extre
Art and overthinkingDear, deviantart fellow artists
There are times when everything goes well, but sometimes It's so easy to let those thoughts (whether caused by fear, life, problems etc.) to overcome your wilingness to do anything. So we let ourselves to get distracted, even though that's not what we really want to do. It's just easier. But we should not let overthinking to stand in our way.
People do tend to overthink all the time. Worrying about unimportant things, while doing nothing about solving actual problems. If there is anything that you think constantly about, that needs to be done - don't put it away till the later. It will only get worse. So often do we regret our decisions in the past, yet we are the only ones who can impact our future.
People also crave for disctractions. That's why probably social media sites are so popular these days. Watching youtube videos all day - It's inspiring to see how other people get success
White knightsI haven't spend much time on my computer last weekend, but enough to see that DeviantArt was kept busy by a troll that apparently did really well for as much as trolls can 'do well' on the internet. A little over 4000 pageviews in just 4 days the account is online proved not only the artists involved in the matter took offense... but apparently a lot of other DeviantArt members as well. Even those that seemed (to me at least) totally uninvolved with the troll or the particular type of art.
For those that wonder about the issue; It's about Foxbun's rather cynical joke about the 'closed species' matter. (I'm usually against name calling here. But this account has intentionally created for its goal. It has been all over the site already and would've been in the comments within 10 minutes, even without me mentioning here. I don't provide a link, though. Use your search engine if you want to research it.)
The term white knight is to most older members of DeviantArt (or the interne
The most amazing thing happened today!This morning, a guy rand my doorbell and i thought that was a little weird because i wasn't expecting anyone. He said he has a delivery for me with 2 tubes from deviantART. I was really surprised because i didn't remember giving my address (it was such a long time ago that i did probably) or didn't remember ordering anything and only until i opened them did i realize they were print gifts from my wishlist! But i have no idea who sent them :icontearyguyplz: They were both prints of this artwork
and i am not sure if there were too separate people who sent them (they appear to have been sent at different times) or one person. BUT WHOEVER YOU ARE THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU WONDERFUL PERSON!
The prints are amazing looking! Kudos to deviantART because the quality of the print is astonishing the prints are on material not paper and that not only makes them more durable but it also has a very neat oil painting feel to it.
This just made my week! I will
CI Give away(Help needed) ends 20 August
Edit: since my brothers laptop got broken he borrowed mine laptop.
the only computer I can use at the moment is my old computer and not fast at all
answering take sometime sorry for the display but I give everyone a number as I can
Hello dear members,
it's time for a new give away
167 people fave my last journal
but sadly 162 People only comment below
so 5 people didn't had a chance to win
so once again take a look at the rules of this give away bellow please remember you need to fav this journal and leave a comm
Rules of the Give away .
to enter in this give away fav and comment on the journal below this is important because you need to get a number from me(if you don't comment you cannot get a number and not win)this give away is only open for members,contributors,admins,and co founders of CI (in order to enter join Creation-inspiration: (excludingmariridoodleparadise and Tsuki-SoraRuki (both accounts are from Me
The Reckless and The Brave<3:iconeeeeeplz:
Long live the reckless and the brave
I don't think I wanna be saved
My song has not been sung
So long live us
Looking out at a town called Suburbia
Everybody's just fighting to fit in
Little rats running mazes, having babies
It's a vicious little world that we live in
Looking back at life on the other side
I realize that I didn't fit in
Didn't hate it
But I didn't quite relate it
To my precious little world
So long live the reckless and the brave
I don't think I want to be saved
My song has not been sung
And long live the fast times
So come what may
I don't think I'll ever be saved
Our song has not been sung
Long live us
Breaking out of a town called Suburbia
I remember everyone always saying
"Little brat must be crazy
Never make it in our vicious little world"
Still I'm leaving
Got a van, got a chance, got my dignity
Got a dream, got a spark, got somewhere to be
I'll take a breath, say goodbye
To their precious little world
(Say goodbye to me!)
So long live the reckless
Keep in Touch!